How to deal with tragedy (and make the best of it)

I’m sure there are a lot of people out there who think their parents love story is the stuff of legends but I KNOW my parents story is truly one for the books. My mom, Michelle, was 20 and had very little life experience. She was the only child of a single mother and even though she was absolutely beautiful, funny, smart and full of love, she lacked self confidence due to her (wrongly) thinking that she was fat and unlovable. My father, John, on the other hand, had way more life experience then a 22 year old should have. He was the second born son of a preacher turned real estate investor and a teacher. He was the poster child of every middle child, preacher/teacher son cliché. On the outside, they were completely different yet their souls aligned.

My parents first met in 1985 when my mother was babysitting her childhood best friends infant son. The infants father was a childhood friend of my fathers. My mom was sitting on the sofa, daydreaming about having her own baby as her friends baby slept in his room, when she was abruptly interrupted from her daydream by a very loud series of knocks on the door. She looked through the peephole and saw a man she only recognized from her best friends wedding photos. Hesitantly she opened the door to a man who asked who she was. He then announced that he had been working on a car down road, needed to use the bathroom and it was fine because he was John and he was friends with the couple. She was too overwhelmed by his energy to say no and luckily for my mother, he was who he said he was and not a serial killer. He barged in the house, went to the bathroom, came out, asked where the baby was and when my mom pointed to his room. My father opened the door, looked at the baby and then proceeded to look at my mother and tell her that one day they could make a beautiful baby together. Mind you, this was all within five minutes of meeting her. Needless to say, my sheltered mother was completely speechless. My father left soon after and when the babies parents returned she told them all about her strange encounter with their friend John. This has never been confirmed but I think it was all planned in advance because my father knew nothing about cars so why would he be working on one and who in the world would tell a complete stranger that one day they would have beautiful babies?!? I have a hunch that he saw my mom in a photo one day and just had to meet her. The next time my mom babysat the little boy my dad showed up again and from that point forward they were pretty much inseparable. They got married in 1986, moved to San Marcos for a while and then when they moved back to Dallas, they ended up renting the very same house they met in. It’s the house they brought me home to when I was born in 1989. My crib sat in the same spot as the baby they once looked. According to all accounts, I was just as beautiful as my dad had imagined I’d be.

We didn’t have much money but our tiny house held so much love. Daddy was a paper distributor for the Dallas Times Herald and my mom did all the paperwork. We did everything together as a unit. I was taught from a very young age that family was everything. My parents gave me the world. I didn’t want for anything. It didn’t matter that we were broke, if I wanted red cowgirl boots, well then we would go to garage sales and thrift stores until we found some. I was their little buddy and they taught me that my thoughts and feelings mattered. After the Times went under, things got a bit more stressful but we were okay. Daddy managed to get hired on with the Dallas Morning News and although his route was much smaller, we were doing okay but he wanted more for his little family. One day, he got a call from his father who told him to go read an article about a man who was trying to sell his business but the only people who wanted it just wanted the land. They didn’t care about the mans business that he had spent over 45 years building. My father was hooked by the story and intrigued by the mans business. He went and met the man (Mr. Orr) and knew that he just had to figure out a way to buy it so he went to his brothers and father, borrowed some money and used every cent my parents had ever saved as a down payment. Mr. Orr typed up the contract on his personal typewriter and he and daddy agreed that Mr. Orr would keep his office and teach my parents how to run his business. I was a month shy of four when the papers were signed.

Every morning, the three of us would get in the car, put on the oldies station and go to Rock Island together. While my daddy sold things and my mom did the books, I honed my dance skills by putting on performances for Mr. Orr, Hubert Ray and Jack Orr (Mr. Orr’s brother. Looking back on it, they could have been cast as the leads in the Grumpy Old Men. All three men were known to be a bit persnickety and demanding but to me they were just my attentive audience. I vividly remember walking around the store with Mr. Orr as he pointed out different doors styles and random plumbing parts to me. He was one of my first teachers and I wouldn’t be who I am if it wasn’t for him. Mr. Orr stopped coming in everyday about three months after the sale was final but he still remained a huge part of our lives. He became a grandfather to me. He helped finance our families house, paid for half of my college fund and signed me up for the Barney Club which meant I got a new Barney VHS tape every month. Obviously the college thing is a way bigger deal but to a four year old obsessed with a purple dinosaur the Barney thing was the best present ever. My sister was born in 1994 and my parents made Mr. Orr her Godfather. He had never held a baby before he held her. Once a month he would come over to our house for one of my moms delicious home cooked meals. It was at one of these dinners that we realized Mr. Orr’s niece had once been married to my moms absentee father. I like to think it was a sign from the universe that my family was always meant to have Orr-Reed.

After my sister was born, things started changing. I had started kindergarten and my mom was too busy taking care of an infant and transporting me to school to come down to work with my dad everyday. The store started making money, daddy started investing in other ventures and the bank account was much fuller. We had the big house, fancy cars and crab dinners but it was never enough for my dad. He always wanted more and could never be happy enough with what he had accomplished. He stopped being the man who would go to 10 thrift stores until he found red cowgirl boots and he became someone else entirely. By this point my brother had been born, Mr. Orr had died and my mom was doing everything she could to hold her family together. Eventually it got to the point where being with my dad wasn’t healthy. My daddy was a great man but due to his own lack of self love he just could never accept that he was good enough. He had always had issues with alcohol but when I was little he didn’t drink. He didn’t start drinking again until after he started making all the money. My mom didn’t want us kids to be exposed to it so even though she loved him with every fiber of her being she filed for divorce when I was 12 years old. Everything changed after that. Without my moms influence, daddy couldn’t function. There wasn’t enough money to support two households at the level we were accustomed to especially because daddy was blowing money on stupid things. They both were shells of their former selves. Mom kept everything together for me and my siblings as much as she could while nursing her broken heart.

By the time I was a senior in high school (2007), my parents ended up getting back together. At that point, I was completely disillusioned by my father. I was disgusted with his behavior and I wanted nothing to do with him or Orr-Reed. I vowed to never take over the store or live in Dallas. I moved off to Nacogodoches for college to start my own story. Funny thing about life though is that you never know what’s going to happen. It doesn’t really matter what you plan, sometimes things are just destined to happen. Four years went by and my dad was back to his old shanigans. My mom left him again only this time, even though I know mom was right to do it, I felt so bad for my daddy because I saw how much pain he was in, I became his buddy again. He was just so lonely and I couldn’t stand the thought of the man I loved so much being alone so when he told me I was ready to move back home and become his business partner I jumped at the chance. We became inseparable. I tried my hardest to take care of him but his demons were larger then I was capable of fixing. I thought his drinking was under control but it just took one night for everything to fall apart.

Have you ever lived your life as a headline? Before January 26th, 2013 I never had. “Friends, family remember salvage operator who was slain in Old East Dallas nightclub” isn’t exactly something you want to read when it’s about your dad but suddenly it was my life. My dad went out to a bar, a fight broke out, he tried to stop it and for his efforts he was beaten to death with a barstool. I was 23 years old, my sister was 18 and my brother was 13 and our father was dead. I’ve written other pieces about that experience and even done a documentary about it so I’m not going to get into what that experience was like again. It still hurts too much. It’s a wound that will never heal no matter how much time has passed. It wasn’t just the grief that hurt. My father had made some very bad business decisions and our family business was leveraged to the hilt. He left us nearly three quarters of a million in debt. My mother and I knew that we had to keep the store going and although she had done the books for years and I had grown up in this business, we didn’t have the first idea of how to actually accomplish it so we just did it. When you have a dragon breathing down your neck, you can’t turn around, you just have to run fast which is what we did. It’s what we are still doing. It’s been over eight years and some days I still have no clue to do this. There’s no book out there called “so your dads dead, now what?”. No cheat codes to Google or secret large inheritances. It’s just us getting up every morning and refusing to give up. All we know is that we love this place. We work this hard and keep going for my daddy, Mr. Orr, my siblings, my son and my sisters son. We keep trying against all odds because we have faith in this business and in ourselves. Is it easy? No. Do I go home and cry a few times a month? Yes. Do I love it? Yes.

Our story is unique but it’s not all that special. Behind every small business is a story of hope, dreams and perseverance. There are so many things wrong with world and an easy way to be a part of the solution is to support local businesses. Let’s ignore that small businesses are the back bone of society and that dollars spent at local businesses go right back in the community and focus on that when you shop small, you are telling people you have faith in their dream. You don’t think are crazy for trying to make the world a better place and you want to be a part of it. Not everyone is crazy enough to have their own business but everyone is capable of supporting the crazy ones.

How to fix a half glass door

Y’all have asked us on many occasions to offer classes on how to fix things and we wish we had the time but there are only so many of us and so many hours in the day so instead, we are going to start posting some behind the scenes fixes just to show y’all how easy some tasks really are.

The majority of the time, we sell things “as is” but on occasion, when we get things in like doors with broken glass, we like to fix them before we sell it. Why? Well, just because we know it’s an easy fix for us, doesn’t mean it’s an easy fix for our customers. Sometimes, simple things like cutting glass is very daunting for people who have never done it before.

The two doors pictured above came to us in really good condition and we knew they were worthy of a few hours of work. Michelle (aka my mommy) quickly got on it. First, she broke out the remaining glass. We recommend doing this outside over a trash can. Did we do it that way? No but that’s because it was hot and my mother is fearless when it comes to glass. After she broke up the glass, she put the door on a table so it was flat. You can replace glass on a door that is still installed but it is easier to do it when it’s flat. She then got to work removing the stops. The stops are the the tiny wood trim pieces that hold the glass is place. While this step is not hard, it is tedious. Replacing stops is possible but you have to have a router to make the pieces the right size so it’s really important to go slow and take your time so you don’t break them. There are many ways to do this but my moms preferred way is to use a stiff putty knife and a hammer. She starts at one corner and gently, with firm pressure worked the putty knife in bit by bit to make sure she gets each brad nail out in order which means there is less chance of the stop breaking. Once she gets all four sides loosened, she gets in a corner and carefully removes the first piece. Sometimes there’s resistance because of how the stops were installed but as long as you are patient, the first stop will pop off and then the rest come out super easily.

For the next step, you can either go have glass cut or you can use a salvaged window and cut your own glass. There are so many glass cutting videos available so I won’t go into too much detail here but basically you remove a window pane from a window in the same way you remove the stops from a door, mark your measurements (check them multiple times), use a scoring tool to mark the glass and then a pair of glass nippers (yeah I know it’s a silly name) and that’s it.

Next, you take window glazing (found at any hardware store for roughly $10) and apply the glazing to the opening of the door where the glass will go. Then, put your glass in and add window points (tiny little metal triangles roughly $4 for a pack of 20) in each corner. Carefully tap the window points in each corner with a hammer. Then put the stops back in, and nail it back in with brad nails. When the stops are back in, flip the door over and remove the extra glazing.

That’s it. Seriously. It’s that simple. I’ve heard so many customers come in for a new door because their glass broke and someone told them it was not fixable but that’s a lie. Not only is it fixable, anyone can do it. It is tedious and it will take a few hours but it’s totally doable and the door will last another 100 years.

Both of the doors my lovely mother fixed today are now available on our website for $225 each. Go check them out!

How to survive a pandemic the Orr-Reed way

My parents bought Orr-Reed in 1993 when I was four years old. I grew up climbing wood piles and helping customers find the right hardware for their doors. I knew the differences of wood grain before I knew how to count to 20.  I took over in 2013 after my dad died (which is a doozy of story for a different day) and with my incredible moms help, we not only kept the business going, we also managed to actually turn a profit which is something my dad hadn’t done in years. Before 2020 a good 70% of our business came from things such as new restaurant and bar build outs, the film industry, large and small retail stores, art pop ups and entertainment venues. Basically, all the things that a pesky pandemic shuts down are what our store depended on to survive. When the lock down hit, we really had no idea how to keep going but we did know that we couldn’t give up. Although we were allowed to be open as an essential business, without any customers being open didn’t really matter. My mom and I even offered to fire everyone because frankly, they would make more off unemployment then what we could pay them but they all refused. Our bunch of ragtag misfits stuck together and as grateful as I was for that, it didn’t solve how we were actually make any money. 

I was desperately trying to come up with something to generate income during a lock down, which is hard enough on its own but was made even more difficult by my 4 year old, very energetic son, Sawyer. Brief tangent, I have so much respect for you incredible stay at home moms but I’m just not cut from that cloth. Pre-pandemic I was very fortunate in that I could set my own work hours which meant I got to spend every morning until preschool drop off at 9 with my kid and I got to leave by 3:00 to go get him.  It was the best of both worlds. I got to go to work and spend a ton of time with my son. It was the perfect balance for me and as soon as lock down started my 6 hours a day away from my kid went away. I didn’t realize how much I depended on that time to actually accomplish things. I was not used to trying to do it all at the same time. It was on day two of hearing non stop mommy mommy mommy that I came up with the idea of craft kits that people could do at home with their kids that could serve as some sort of distraction from the craziness that was surrounding us all. 

We started small with hanging coat racks made of reclaimed wood and antique door knobs. Without those coat racks, we wouldn’t be open today. They gave us enough breathing room to come up with more kits ranging from different styles of planter boxes to birdhouses to fold out patio bars to bat houses to key racks to shelving to holiday kits. Most of my ideas for the kits came from things I was doing with Sawyer that I thought other people would also enjoy doing.

If last year taught me anything, its how important it is to spend time with your family. By the time I was brainstorming our holiday kits, I knew I wanted to come up with a project families could do together that would not just function as cute holiday decor, that would last for years but would also serve as a reminder of spending time with family. I knew it had to be classic, incredibly sturdy, simple enough that kids could help put it together and it had to be made out of things we carried at the store. With those parameters in mind, I came up with the pumpkin kits. By the end of the 2020 fall holiday season, we had made over 500 pumpkins kits. It sounds silly, but the pumpkins really brought the entire Orr Reed family even closer together. Our small crew of 5 managed to cut over 5,000 pumpkin pieces, poured over 1,500 ramekins of paint and put over 12,000 screws into bags. Each completed pumpkin kit served as a reminder that through imagination, teamwork and a little bit of ingenuity we were capable of getting through anything. It was never a question if we were going to bring the pumpkins back because of what they represent to us. We might have started doing them out of desperation but they became a symbol of so much more for us. Driving the streets of my beloved Dallas and seeing houses with our pumpkins decorating their porches is such a joy. I love that a part of our story is now a part of so many others as well. 

As a small thank you to all our fabulous customers, I have made a special coupon code just for the pumpkins. Now until 9/16 save 10% on your pumpkin order with the code pumpkinseason. To order, go to our shop page and click holiday kits.

Needed Changes

Some people handle aging with grace. They are able to glide right into their next year with dignity and excitement of what’s to come. I’m not one of those people. I’ve suffered from the birthday blues since my preteen years (Tiny Hannah was very melodramatic). When I woke up last Monday morning all I could think about was that at the end of the week I’d be another year older and how little I’ve accomplished.

After my dad died in 2013, I had a giant chip on my shoulder. So many people in my life had no faith that a 23 year old in mourning would be able to keep a struggling business afloat but with the help of my mom, siblings, incredible employees and a lot of luck, we kept our doors open. I got married soon after and I really thought that if I worked hard enough all my dreams would come true. I felt I had to prove myself to all the naysayers. I had goals of writing a book, expanding the store, opening a wedding venue and growing a legacy. I truly thought by the time I hit 2020 I’d have a expanded, thriving business and a happy home life.

2020 greeted us all like a sledgehammer. By the end of January my marriage was over, by March a virus cut our sales 75% and took my grandfather, and by the end of April I was ready to just crawl in a hole, yet we kept going. Last year, I was in survival mode and the affects of my lack of accomplishments didn’t hit me as hard as usual but this year is a horse of a different color. All I could I think about was at 32, I was in a worse place then I was in my mid 20s. Sure, my mom and I kept the doors open and our employees paid during a pandemic but the mental and financial toll of the last 18 months has been difficult. Instead of expanding, we’ve had to restructure and cut hours. I used to have pieces I wrote published in all sorts of online platforms but I just haven’t had the energy to write. My only priorities have been to keep my kid happy and healthy and to survive. Basically, last Monday I was having the pity party of all pity parties because i felt like I wasted a year of my life but then, I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and to do something about it, which is why after years and years of refusing, I launched a shoppable website.

There is no way to expand if we rest on our laurels. Change is scary y’all but without change we can’t grow. I can’t tell you how much y’all’s support this past week has meant to me on a personal level. Every sale that has come through the website has either resulted in happy tears or a very happy dance. I’ve truly called my mom after every notification to celebrate with her. In the last 8 days, y’all have bought over 30 items from the website at an average of $200 of sales a day and we are just getting started. We have a goal to add at least 20 items a day to the website and so far we have blown that goal out of the water. I bought color coded stickers so we can start listing some of our more common items like windows and interior doors in an organized fashion. I’ve got a list of blog topics ranging from why wood floor is better, to the history of shotgun houses that I will start launching in the next few weeks. We even started marking things with prices, which I’m sure would make my daddy turn over in his ash box but I truly think it will make an easier shopping experience for all of y’all.

I don’t know what the next year will bring but I do know I’m done feeling sorry for myself. I’m done saying well if it wasn’t for this, things would be different because it doesn’t matter. Things are what they are and I’m determined to make this year a good one.

If you’re still reading this very long post, thank you. Thank you for supporting my family and our business. Thank you for telling your friends about us. Thank you for all your kind comments, prayers and positive vibes. It really does mean the absolute world to us.