Needed Changes
Some people handle aging with grace. They are able to glide right into their next year with dignity and excitement of what’s to come. I’m not one of those people. I’ve suffered from the birthday blues since my preteen years (Tiny Hannah was very melodramatic). When I woke up last Monday morning all I could think about was that at the end of the week I’d be another year older and how little I’ve accomplished.
After my dad died in 2013, I had a giant chip on my shoulder. So many people in my life had no faith that a 23 year old in mourning would be able to keep a struggling business afloat but with the help of my mom, siblings, incredible employees and a lot of luck, we kept our doors open. I got married soon after and I really thought that if I worked hard enough all my dreams would come true. I felt I had to prove myself to all the naysayers. I had goals of writing a book, expanding the store, opening a wedding venue and growing a legacy. I truly thought by the time I hit 2020 I’d have a expanded, thriving business and a happy home life.
2020 greeted us all like a sledgehammer. By the end of January my marriage was over, by March a virus cut our sales 75% and took my grandfather, and by the end of April I was ready to just crawl in a hole, yet we kept going. Last year, I was in survival mode and the affects of my lack of accomplishments didn’t hit me as hard as usual but this year is a horse of a different color. All I could I think about was at 32, I was in a worse place then I was in my mid 20s. Sure, my mom and I kept the doors open and our employees paid during a pandemic but the mental and financial toll of the last 18 months has been difficult. Instead of expanding, we’ve had to restructure and cut hours. I used to have pieces I wrote published in all sorts of online platforms but I just haven’t had the energy to write. My only priorities have been to keep my kid happy and healthy and to survive. Basically, last Monday I was having the pity party of all pity parties because i felt like I wasted a year of my life but then, I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and to do something about it, which is why after years and years of refusing, I launched a shoppable website.
There is no way to expand if we rest on our laurels. Change is scary y’all but without change we can’t grow. I can’t tell you how much y’all’s support this past week has meant to me on a personal level. Every sale that has come through the website has either resulted in happy tears or a very happy dance. I’ve truly called my mom after every notification to celebrate with her. In the last 8 days, y’all have bought over 30 items from the website at an average of $200 of sales a day and we are just getting started. We have a goal to add at least 20 items a day to the website and so far we have blown that goal out of the water. I bought color coded stickers so we can start listing some of our more common items like windows and interior doors in an organized fashion. I’ve got a list of blog topics ranging from why wood floor is better, to the history of shotgun houses that I will start launching in the next few weeks. We even started marking things with prices, which I’m sure would make my daddy turn over in his ash box but I truly think it will make an easier shopping experience for all of y’all.
I don’t know what the next year will bring but I do know I’m done feeling sorry for myself. I’m done saying well if it wasn’t for this, things would be different because it doesn’t matter. Things are what they are and I’m determined to make this year a good one.
If you’re still reading this very long post, thank you. Thank you for supporting my family and our business. Thank you for telling your friends about us. Thank you for all your kind comments, prayers and positive vibes. It really does mean the absolute world to us.
